After a loved one dies, it seems like everyone has advice on how you should handle the loss.
You are told to join a grief group, talk to a friend who has been in a similar circumstance or even meet with a grief counselor.
These aren’t bad things at all but sometimes you need to grieve alone.
Sometimes you have to start the process by yourself before you can be open to letting anyone else in.
Other times you don’t have anyone to turn to and you find yourself trying to deal with the emotions of loss all by yourself.
How to Grieve All By Yourself
Grieving by yourself doesn’t necessarily mean locking yourself in a room and crying all day but I bet we all have had days like that.
It is finding healthy ways of dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Here are some ways that helped me as I grieved by myself.
After a recent loss, my whole life shifted. My existence didn’t feel the same and I didn’t know what to do with it.
So I started to run.
To be honest I hated running before that point but that was the only place I could face what was happening and in a small way deal with my feelings.
I ran and ran and ended up finding solace and peace in running.
I also tried out hot yoga. I found that the tears mixed with sweat wasn’t as noticeable in the dim lights of the studio.
I found that I was healing through the activity and I finally felt some control over my emotions.
Exercise can do that.
Sometimes you can’t face the hard things until your body is pushed to the limit of what it can do.
Finding a private place to share your feelings is critical and important.
For me, finding my own space to work through my issues was just what I needed in my grief process.
No one was judging me on how I felt and I didn’t have to explain my emotions to anyone else.
I also found that through journaling I started healing as I recorded the memories of my loved ones.
The consistency of keeping track emotionally held myself accountable and also gave me strength when I saw how much I had grown.
On the bad days where I don’t want to write, I used that time to go back and read through other entries I have made.
That has healed me from the inside out.
For me, music is one of the best therapies around.
I can turn on a song and work through my emotions as the words and music swells around me.
I started taking guitar lessons after a loss and found that my pain was expressed through the music.
Even now when I can’t quite understand my feelings, I can be found plunking out a song on the piano or trying to conquer a new song on the guitar.
Music can reach places where you didn’t know you were hurting and heal them.
4. Finding Peace
I found peace inadvertently on a hike with a group one day.
I had hiked up this beautiful mountain and at the top, we all separated.
There was a moment of pure peace and stillness that I was able to leave the world behind and just focus on myself. I found myself yearning to go back to that place over and over again that summer to find that spot of peace.
For you, it may not be at the top of a mountain but it could be a quiet space in your garden or at a nearby park.
Find that place that gives you peace and return to it often.
More and more these days we find ourselves alone with our grief. Knowing what to do with it can help us heal and be able to find ways to grieve all by ourselves.
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